For A Reason

I'm a big believer that everything does happen for a reason. Even the bad things we have to endure happen for a reason. It's hard to keep that in mind when we are going through trials though. God never promised that our lives would always be joyful. What He did promise was that He would always be there for us. In the midst of turmoil, in our happiest moments...God is there and He has a plan.


This past Monday, Joey and I went to visit my mom. I hate that a visit to her requires us to drive to Brooklyn Cemetery, but knowing that in some way I am close to her is sometimes comforting. This visit was exceptionally hard though. Joey didn't say where we were going as he was driving there, but I knew. Before we even left the highway, I started feeling anxious (and not in a good way). It was kind of how I used to feel before giving an oral speech in high school. I'd get nervous, butterflies in the stomach, shaky and at a loss for words. I think it's because I knew that feelings I normally try to hide were going to bubble to the surface and boil over. I never would have described myself as an emotional person before, but since Mom passed...to say that same thing would be a lie.


As soon as we pulled into the cemetery, the tears broke free. I hate crying. The sting in my eyes, the blotchy color it makes my face, the runny nose and the overall vulnerability of the moment. It's all very uncomfortable to me. I even start to feel squirmy when I see others cry. Anyhow, Joey and I stood before Mom's grave, my grandmother in the plot to my right, and I just cried. Words didn't need to be said. After all, I know we don't visit for Mom as much as we do for us. Mom isn't there, my grandmother isn't there. They are where I hope to be some day. So as I stood there next to my husband, feeling vulnerable with tears turning cold on my cheeks, a bunch of thoughts and memories swirled in my mind. The most prominent being the upcoming Christmas without Mom.


This brings me back to my first thought, everything happens for a reason. Later that same evening I get on Facebook and notice that I have been tagged in a post. This wonderful friend had posted on my page the poem that is at the bottom of this post. I admit, it took me several attempts to finish reading it. It instantly brought tears to my eyes, but I needed to read each and every word because there is truth in them. I knew at that moment that there was a reason my sweet friend posted that on my Facebook wall. I have no doubts that God had a hand in her reading that and thinking about me as she did. He knew I needed to hear those words. From the moment Joey took me to Mom's grave site and I stood there thinking of our Christmas without her, He put the wheels in motion.


If my friend who posted this on my wall is reading this blog post, I want you to know that this poem means more to me than you probably ever thought it would. The timing could not have been more perfect. It is amazing to me to be able to witness God working through people. To know that He truly is always with us and interacting in our lives is an indescribable feeling. Again, to my friend, I thank you a million times for sharing this with me. Even though miles may separate us, God bridged that gap with this simple, yet immeasurable, act of kindness.


Another dear friend posted on my wall the following day. She had heard the song "Dancing With The Angels" by Monk and Neagle earlier that day and said that she thought of me. Another moment of vulnerability ensued, but I smiled through the tears. That beautiful song is one of those that is hard for me to listen to now. After reading that post I couldn't help but to smile thinking of Mom and other loved ones up in heaven among angels.


I thank God for the friends that think of me out of the blue and take the time to let me know it. It always seems to happen when I'm feeling down and in a rut. That just can't be a coincidence.

My First Christmas in Heaven 

by Unknown 

I see the countless Christmas trees around the world below

With tiny lights, like Heaven's stars, reflecting on the snow

The sight is so spectacular, please wipe away the tear

For I am spending Christmas with Jesus Christ this year.

I hear the many Christmas songs that people hold so dear

But the sounds of music can't compare 

with the Christmas choir up here.

I have no words to tell you, the joy their voices bring,

For it is beyond description, to hear the angels sing.

I know how much you miss me, I see the pain inside your heart

But I am not so far away, we really aren't apart.

So be happy for me, dear ones, you know I hold you dear.

And be glad I'm spending Christmas

with Jesus Christ this year.

I sent you each a special gift, from my heavenly home above.

I sent you each a memory of my undying love.

After all, love is a gift more precious than pure gold

It was always most important in the stories Jesus told.

Please love and keep each other, as my Father said to do

For I can't count the blessing or love he has for each of you

So have a Merry Christmas and wipe away that tear

Remember, I am spending Christmas

with Jesus Christ this year.