Wait And See

I was just sitting here listening to Pandora on my phone and this song came on and the lyrics made me stop what I was doing and really listen. I have heard this song before, but today it was like God was telling me to stop and take in the words. Immediately, I thought of Cullen. Granted, the words are not 100% accurate to his life, but the song had him written in it. It is titled "Wait and See" by Brandon Heath and I posted it below.

Wait and See

Apparently my emotions are all over the place today because this song invoked tears and smiles. Let me explain why I thought of our Cullen Jean.

In the beginning of the song, he mentions how the doctor said after his birth that he was lucky to be alive. Cullen was born premature, but seemed fairly healthy. However, a few days after we brought him home, he had choked on his formula and some of it went into his lungs. We heard a single loud cry and then nothing. He couldn't breathe. We were frantic and instantly called an ambulance. This was the only time that my First Aid and CPR training came in handy. I did what I could until the ambulance got there. Obviously, all turned out well, but it was one of the most frightening moments of our life.

A younger Cullen Jean

Then there is this part of the song:

I’ve been trouble since the day that I got here

Trouble till the day that I disappear

That’ll be the day that I finally get it right

Now, don't misunderstand me here. Cullen hasn't always been trouble. He has always been a bit of a handful with a personality that was and is very unique. He is stubborn to a fault and works on his own agenda. It doesn't matter if it's teachers, parents, friends or his brother...Cullen will argue with anyone.

I never really was that good in school

I talked too much, broke the rules

Teacher thought I was hopeless fool alright

Needless to say, we have had our fair share and then some of phone calls from school. Not because Cullen isn't good at school though. He is very intelligent! I'm not just saying that because I'm his mom either. All of his teachers have said the same thing. He is an honor student, in accelerated classes and does math in his head like a human calculator. His problems in school are a result of his inability to control his mouth and emotions.  Of course, we now know that is due to his Asperger's Syndrome. If only we had known that a long time ago. Starting way back to preschool until present day, our youngest has kept us on our toes. I don't see that changing anytime soon. And I'm okay with that.

Note the Honor Student shirt : )

I believe Cullen has the potential to do a number of great things in his life. When that boy puts his mind to something, there is no stopping him. I'm anxious to see the Cullen of the future, but I'm not in any hurry for that to happen. The years have already flown by too quickly. So, I guess I will just have to "Wait and See".