Week Two

Here are my pictures from the second week of my 365 Album. Some days I had no problems getting pictures that I thought would be good to use for this project. The problem there is picking only one to use. Other days, well...some days are just more difficult. Anyway, below you can see what came out of Week Two.

Day 8: This was a beautiful day so Cullen and I took a stroll outside. We followed this woodpecker from tree to tree.

Day 9: The sun setting on a cool, winter evening.

Day 10: This is Gir. He's sitting on a table in front of a window. It's one of his favorite things.

Day 11: I didn't even feel like picking up my camera on this day. However, as Hayden sat at the computer and attempted to annoy me with this video of Nyan cat, I decided to annoy him by taking a picture. That black mass is his head peeking over the chair.

Day 12: Beautiful snow fell this day. Cullen endured the bitter wind so I could get my picture of the day.

Day 13: I found beauty on Friday the 13th. Not the best picture, but you can still see the delicate design of the snowflake.

Day 14: A view from our side yard. Serene and cold.

My Aha Moment

This isn't like some of my other blog posts where I have already thought about what I'm going to write. Right now, I just feel like writing. We will find out together where this blog ends up.

I have been feeling rather lost lately. Not so much lost in this big, crazy world, but lost in myself. Which is probably crazier than this world ever could be. I have a lot of self-doubt and not nearly enough 'I can' attitude. It's not easy going through life second-guessing yourself every time your mind has a thought. But how do you retrain yourself? I know you are supposed to always be you because that is how God intended for you to be. But I was also reminded of something this week that I had not been taking into consideration when it came to my struggles. When things in your life are too much for you to bear alone, God is always there to help you. 

I realized that I haven't been completely devoted in my relationship with God. Yes, I believe in Him and love Him dearly. When it came to having a relationship with God, I was failing. It occurred to me that I haven't really prayed since my Mom was still with us. Sure I have said prayers here and there about random things, but they weren't passionate prayers. A good friend reminded me that all prayer is is a conversation with God. It's no different than having a conversation with a family member or friend. It's easy for us to get caught up in our own little world and forget that it isn't really our world at all. God put us where we are and all He wants is a relationship with each of us. It is way past time for me to get involved in that relationship again.

Without a doubt, the past several months would have been a lot easier for me if I hadn't been trying to carry the burden by myself. I am a worrier (this isn't news to people who really know me) and I tend to harbor those worries and push them deep down inside of me. I don't like to dish out my problems on other people. Everyone has problems and the last thing anyone needs is to hear about mine. But God is different. He wants us to turn to Him and give him our burden. When we aren't strong enough to handle things on our own, He desires to help us. But we have to ask for that help. I don't believe that God wants to see us struggle, but He wants that relationship and to know that we can humble ourselves enough to say, "God, I can't do this alone. Please, I need your help." It is then, in that moment, that we submit ourselves and place our faith in Him. Faith. It's so simple, yet we humans tend to make it so complicated at times.

It took two people that I love dearly to wake me up and show me where I had faltered. Joey and Elaine, you both have hearts of gold and God works through each of you in ways that I am blessed to witness. I feel like I should apologize for falling apart on each of you, but I know that if it had not happened I would not have heard the words I that needed to hear. So rather than an apology, I give each of you thanks. Thank you for being there when I needed someone and thank you for loving me enough to pick me up when I had fallen.

Week One

I decided a few months ago that I was going to start a 365 photo album. Each day I will take a picture of something...anything and add it to the album. I'm only a week into this venture and I must say it isn't as easy as it sounds. Some days nothing really stands out and screams, "Take my picture!" Then there are the days (like the couple after my surgery) where I just didn't feel like doing anything, let alone take a picture. So I have decided that no matter how mundane the subject of the picture may seem, I will use the photo anyway. Here are my photos from week one.

Day 1: This plaque hangs in our bedroom. The three most important things in life.

Day 2: Exactly one year since Mom passed away. This condensation on the window was fitting for my mood. However, the snow that day was beautiful.

Day 3: I wasn't in the picture taking mood this day. As I was putting on my lotion that my hubby got me I thought, sure...why not? I love this scent that he picked out for me!

Day 4: The sunset was beautiful this day. An original by God!

Day 5: This is Precious. She likes to sit at the foot of the bed and give me the evil eye.

Day 6: I have this ribbon hanging from the front porch. Mom used to love sitting on the front porch on nice days. For January, this was a very nice day.

Day 7: The moon had a beautiful halo around it! Here are both of the boys silhouetted against the moonlit sky.

Hopefully I can keep this up. I think it will be neat to look back on all these pictures later on and have a glimpse of each day again. :)

What Year is It?

I'm kind of ashamed that it has taken me six days into the new year to blog. The first couple of days of the new year were a little difficult for our family. January 2 was the one year anniversary of Mom's passing, so things were rather somber around the house. On the 4th, I had a procedure done at the hospital and I have been recovering from that since. *Disclaimer - the following paragraph is about female stuff. Do not continue on if it makes you uncomfortable.*

I'm not going to go into a lot of detail here. Some details are better left unsaid. If you are the curious type, let me direct you to Google. Anyway...I've had PCOS (polycystic ovarian syndrome) for several years. Basically, it causes my periods to be very painful to the point that I can't function normally. My doctor recommended that I have the Novasure endometrial ablation procedure done. I was all for it. If there is anything I can do to stop the once-a-month agony, I am doing it!!! So I was at the hospital bright and early on Wednesday to have the lining of my uterus burned away. Sounds fun, right? It is actually a very easy procedure and an out-patient one at that. As soon as they gave me the anesthesia, I was out. It seemed like only minutes passed before they were waking me up. I'm told that it was actually 2 hours, but to me it was a very nice nap. I've had very little pain, just some minor discomfort. It's been a cake walk compared to my periods! The only downfall I've noticed is that I have been extremely tired since I've had it done. I am hoping that ends soon because I feel like I'm just one step away from being a zombie.

On to another topic. Joey signed both of us up for a membership at Anytime Fitness today. I really hope this is something I can stick with and start making a difference in my physical health. I am the type of person who likes instant results, so it is very easy for me to get discouraged. However, neither of us are prime physical specimen and I know that there is no better time than the present. I'm hoping that 2012 is the year that I can actually get healthy and stop feeling like I am twice my actual age. I may need some extra prayers and support in this area. Here's to hoping for miracles!!!